Safety and Health Tips

Now, I Snorkel Bob, and you, my friends, play S.Y.A. I, Snorkel Bob, S my A by giving you these handy tips. You, my friends, S your A by reading them and playing safe.

Snorkeling (Boogie Boarding below)
1. Snorkeling is a buddy sport. You help your buddy. She helps you.

2. Never turn your back on the ocean. (It'll whomp you.)

3. Always observe- surf, current, wave sets, surge on reefs/rocks.

4. Avoid wana (vonna)–black sea urchin. Your snorkel first-aid kit would include, peroxide, aspirin for sunburn, & cigarettes. Tobacco kills most stings. So does making shishi on sting, but I, Snorkel Bob, know that this can really test a friendship.

5. Enter and exit from a sandy beach area.

6. Never swim against a current, swim diagonally across it.

7. Avoid snorkeling at dusk.

8. Friends don't let friends snorkel drunk (or stoned—no matter how groovy the colors are).

9. Don't snorkel in a strong offshore wind.

10. Duck or dive under breaking waves before they reach you to avoid their bully force. Don't try to jump over them or turn your back to them.

11. I, Snorkel Bob, wear SPF 20 and a t-shirt, rash guard and swim cap while snorkeling in the intense Hawaiian sun.

12. Fish Food is hereby denounced by me, Snorkel Bob, especially the stuff sold by the ton as environmentally correct. It ain't. And also especially LEsueur Peas and stale bread. The plastic wrappers tend to clog my, Snorkel Bob's, ocean, and all that crap constipates my, Snorkel Bob's, little bitty fish buddies.

Boogie Boarding
1. Don't body board close outs (waves that collapse).

2. Don't body board shore break (waves that break close in, over shallow bottom.

3. Don't body board unfamiliar areas. (Ask around.)

4. Don't body board secluded areas. (Don't ask.)

5. Don't body board alone. (Use one buddy.)

6. Don't watch small local children ride killer surf and say, Hey, if they can do it, I can do it, after all. Small local children surf first, crawl and walk later.

7. Don't break your neck. (Or your back, usually from thrust into shallow bottom like one pogo stick—head where rubber bouncer used to be.)

8. Don't do this.

9. Don't do that.

Snorkel Bob's Map'n Tips to Hawaii
Snorkel Bob's Hawaii Store Locations